The Process of Total Surrender 

There came a time when I felt like God was asking me, “The gifts and the talents that I’ve given you, for what are you using them?”

I thought I was going to go there for two years, and now 20 years letter, I’m still here. I can hardly believe it myself.

Lesson One: It’s not about me

It’s not about me. It’s about God and his glory. 

Having an attitude of service to God and knowing it’s all about him, it’s not about my strengths or my ideas.

Lesson two: The Lesson of Worship

I’m a passionate musician, so I love to sing and play music. I was singing for way too long in the wrong way and I actually hurt my vocal cords and I had to be quiet for an entire month. That totally broke me.

The lesson I learned is that worship is not about my voice or about me; it’s about my heart and my heart attitude. God looks at the heart.

My heart was pouring out praise and worship.

I think everyone is a worship leader, and I am 24/7 a worship leader. We have the ability to lead people into the presence of God, into wanting to praise him, wanting to thank him, offering our lives to him, and surrendering to him.

Lesson 3: The Lesson of Prayer

I learned that prayer works, God still does do miracles. He uses us normal, broken people.

God doesn’t need us, but he chooses to use us.

Lesson 4 The Lesson of My Own Brokenness

God did a big work inside my heart: where do I run to for comfort when I’m in pain?

I’ve learned that Jesus is the ultimate coping mechanism.

Jesus is the only one who can truly meet my deepest needs: my need to be loved, my need for safety and security, and my need for purpose and significance.

There are many good painkillers in the world. Netflix. Food. Busyness. But I’ve learned to run to Jesus.

I’ve learned the power of the cross, the place of exchange where I can bring my past hurts and receive healing.

Lesson 5: The Lesson of Grieving

Dealing with singleness, I used to run to self-pity. Somebody once told me that self-pity is like running into Satan and crying on Satan’s lap.

I want to run to Jesus and cry in his lap. How do you do that? It’s grieving. It involves being totally honest with your pain, naming it, crying, and giving it to Jesus. It involves trusting that pain to him. I need you. Comfort me. That’s grieving.

Lesson 6 The Lesson of Relationships

I’ve become more and more aware that what will last is relationships. You can’t buy it, but they’re so so important.

Lesson 7 The Lesson of Highest Importance

What is really important? First of all, it’s not ministry. It’s not going and evangelizing. It’s not going to build this amazing ministry. Doing this or that. I believe the biggest thing I can do on this planet called Earth is loving God with all my heart, my soul, my mind, and my strength. And then out of that, we say, “Jesus, use me wherever you want me.”

The greatest thing we can do is not ministry, but it’s cultivating that love relationship with the father. Following him, being with him, becoming like him.

Learning to Grieve

It’s very important to be very honest with God. You know, God can handle us.

We can be angry with God. I think that’s OK. But then, when we start judging God, I think that’s dangerous because God is the judge we are not.

Jesus also died on the cross for our pain, not just our sins. We’re very quick to give Jesus our sins, but when it comes to pain, we often tend to think we know how to deal with pain.

We should say, “God, you’re the judge; you will deal with this. I don’t need to be the judge.” But then we still need to deal with our pain.

You are not a victim

Many people are having a victim mentality. And I’ve become more aware of when I start to feel like a victim, or acting like a victim, or thinking like a victim. That’s so dangerous because we are not a victim.

We are children; we are not victims of circumstances.

Don’t Compare

Both singleness and marriage are a gift. And there are positives and negatives to both sides. But we often compare. The grass is always greener on the other side.

It’s so dangerous to compare.

Comparing is so flipping dangerous. It pulls us down.

I compared myself, but then I realized, “No, I’m accountable to Jesus only.” I need to follow him. One day, I will be rewarded for what I did. So I should not compare.

Over time God healed me from that mindset and I’ve accepted the way I am, the way God made me. I made peace with how God made me. I received his love and I decided I love myself as well. Lord, I just want to love you back and serve you.

I need to follow Christ, not as somebody else, but as who God has made me.

The five bread and two fish, I give that little to you, and trust that you will multiply. I don’t need to look at those people over there that have 20 fish and 30 loaves of bread.

What is Faithfulness?

Admitting when things do go well and you do see results, you can say, Wow, that was a success. Or I get good feedback, so that means it was a success. But more and more Lately when I’m growing, and I want to grow closer and deeper in love with Jesus, I think, I start to measure success and faithfulness in do I show up and spend time with Jesus?

How is my walk with Jesus? Do I spend time with him? Do I commune with him? Is my relationship with Jesus intimate? I can measure success by how my relationship with Jesus is.

Practicing the Presence

I started going for walks every morning and I’m still doing that today. My prayer walk is like a rhythm. I leave my phone behind. But I go in nature and I pray.

I would not like to live without that. It has become such an important rhythm.

Transitioning

I came to a place where I thought the will of God is not a geographic location, but more a state of heart.

I can bring glory to God in Africa. I can serve God and live for him in Europe or in the Middle East. It’s about my heart attitude.

It wasn’t easy, but I knew that it was time.

We had a situation where a new Director came into the situation, and there was a lot of pain. It caused a lot of pain and issues. Some people left. When I got to know the situation in the new leader and how everything works, I really felt as well, asking God if it is really still my place or not.

God was really preparing my heart to move on.

Church mobilization

“Mission mobilizing is any event where God’s people are awakened, and they keep moving and growing until they find their strategic place in the task of completing world evangelization” – Wesley Tullis

God is really giving me a passion to mobilize.

I’ve discovered the gifting and the passion to mobilize.

Mobilizing is my strategic place in the task of World Evangelization.

Lord, bring it on. Here I am. Use me.

It was interesting to come back to the West. I did not expect so much paperwork and administration.

I didn’t expect it would be so hard to get into churches. The main way we get into churches is through relationships.

Yes, it’s important to evangelize our locals, but man, what about the least reached?

Information alone does not really move very many people, so we try to pass on the information through interaction, through being creative.

The effects of technology admissions

This generation is not willing to commit to long-term missions. So even two years is long-term for them.

This generation has a fear of missing out. They want to keep all the options open.

When I meet people or ask, “How were they mobilized?” It’s usually not through social media. Why did they actually want to go to missions? Mostly, it’s because they’ve known somebody else who’s been to the field. It comes back again to relationships.