Finding Jesus on the Field

Christ said, “If you first seek the kingdom, I will provide whatever you need.” And we thought, yes, that is the real help.”

I believed in God, but I didn’t know what Christ had done for me.

One evening, we had a really good talk with the pastor and his wife. I thought I was already converted, but he asked me, “Are you certain?” And I said, “I don’t know. I think so. My life has changed a lot. But I’m not certain.” So that evening, with the pastor, me and my wife, on our knees, in front of the sofa, prayed. And from that moment on, I knew and I believed that I’m a child of God.

Cross-cultural Marriages

In the beginning, it’s a blessing that things are different from what you’re used to, and that’s nice. The family, the culture, and the way they think about things. It’s all new and exciting. But after a while, the same things can start to become…”hmm why do they always have to do it like this?”

When you start seeing the cultural through your own glasses again, that’s when you really have to take care not to become critical and negative.

Advice for couples from different cultures looking to get married: Spend time together in both countries! And look for a coach or a mentor.

So many times there are things that annoy you in your spouse, but you love them too much to say anything. You don’t want to hurt them. A mentor or counselor can teach you how to verbalize your feelings.

Raising Third-Culture Kids

After we had kids, my wife realized that if she does not learn my language and the kids learn my language, she is going to have a problem.

We thought we would stay there a long, long time. And we thought, if the people in this country can go to these schools and become smart people, I think our kids can also go there.

We didn’t want our kids to be outsiders. We wanted them to be part of the community we were living in.

Transitioning off the field

“The house of the painter is the least painted house.” I very well knew about transition, I learned it to help other people go through transition, but I thought I don’t have time enough to have someone helping us to go through transition.

We thought we would transition to another country on the field. We never thought we would transition to my home country.

My brother in-law became fifty. They asked us to write something and then they would make a nice book for him. So there I was, sitting in front of my empty paper, and just realized at that (I think it had been 22 years since I had left my country), I don’t really know my family any more.

Resigning leadership

I always said I didn’t want to be the leader for many, many years.

I realized, back in my home country, that I wasn’t a “missionary” anymore and that I wasn’t a leader anymore. I had lost a big part of my identity.

In the beginning, when we came here, you’re still that special person who was in missions and is now here. And wow, how could they make that step of faith to come back? But then, after a few months, or half a year, you’re just one of all the others.

Should I be bi-vocational?

Even when we were on the field, there were times when we didn’t have enough, but God always provided.

In the beginning I was really into being bi-vocational. I thought this is a nice thing, I could do my work in the morning and then I could do some missions work, and then I can do work in the afternoon again. After a while I found out that it too much more energy from me then I was expecting.

And although the work I was doing was good, my heart was really in missions.

We know that approximately one out of five people have mental health problems. For missionaries and people working in churches, it’s one out of three. And I want to help these people get out of these one in three be able to thrive in missions.

God’s enemy does not like when people come to faith. So if he can make trouble for missionaries after a while they will burn out, and say ok, I stop. I’m going home. I’m going to do something completely different.

Member Care

A lot of problems in teams. You see problems between team members because of cultural differences. Another big one is communications. Not clearly communicating with one another and so we have different expectations from one another.

Sometimes, it only takes one border. You would think two countries right next to each other are kind of the same, they understand each other. You think we are the same. But we are very different.

I said so many things to my wife that were rude that I never intended to be rude. But because of her culture she perceived what I said in a completely different way.

I’ve seen so many discussions where the people talking are not on the same level. And they don’t know. And you know this is going to be a big problem.

Staying close to the Father

God’s word is like a sieve for you when you don’t want to read the Bible, but you still read the Bible; God’s word comes to you, works in your mind, and maybe you don’t feel like it does a lot, but it does. It always does. It’s God’s word.