• 00:00 Intro
• 01:00 Becoming aware of Sabbaticals
• 04:10 Taking a Sabbatical
• 09:00 Beginning the process
• 19:11 Taking the sabbatical
• 28:30 Sabbatical coaches
• 44:55 Pitfalls to avoid
•  47:35 Final thought

Becoming aware of Sabbaticals

Fruitfulness requires rest.

There was a period in my life where I was feeling really, I don’t know if I was quite burnt out, but I was approaching burnout. And so this idea came to mind, and I began searching out the process of what it would like to take a step back and take a sabbatical.

Taking a Sabbatical

I did a retreat by myself. The format was given to me by my coach, and then I just went off some in country and did that.

The focus of my sabbatical was restoration and learning more about boundaries for my own life and for my ministry.

Three main areas of sabbatical

1. Pre-Sabbatical phase: figuring out what you want to focus on during your sabbatical.
2. Taking Sabbatical: 1) Disconnecting phase. 2) The restoration phase. 3) Refection phase. 4) Realigning phase.
3. Reentry from Sabbatical. A two-week period of readjusting to the ministry.

The point of a sabbatical is very purposeful. It’s not just taking a vacation or having rest.

Daily life didn’t change. I was still a mom and I was still a wife. None of that changed. But what changed was I stepped back and I was not participating in ministry.

Beginning the process

Three categories to assess if you need a sabbatical.

1. Do you have a big change coming up?
2. Are you experiencing burnout or extreme exhaustion?
3. Has it been six to ten years that you’ve been involved in ministry?

A month is not long enough. Usually, we are so caught up in ministry and going, going, going that it typically takes two weeks just for people to really step out and decompress and process. That, in and of itself, is usually a two-week process just for people to stop and be okay with stopping.

I recommend that people take at least two months and up to a year.

Not good reasons to take a sabbatical. If you’re running away from something. If you don’t have a plan or a form of accountability. Those are not good reasons because a sabbatical is supposed to have a process and a rhythm to it.

When I wanted to go on Sabbatical, I spoke with our field leader. After you get approval, you can reach out to your member care department to see if we have coaches or people within our organization who can connect you to someone.  From your coach can guide you to see what it would look like to talk to your churches and supporters.

Taking the sabbatical

The disconnecting phase is when you are taking a step back from normal  ministry like, which can be very hard. This can take up to four weeks.

The restoration phase is where you do something you want to do, something that gives you life. This could be taking a vacation, reading what you want to read, or taking an art class—something that brings restoration.

The reflection phase involves asking God if there is anything He wants to say to you. You might ask questions like, “Am I supposed to continue in this ministry?” “Is there something I need to change?” “Is there something going on within me that God wants to deal with?”

The second part of the reflection phase is learning. It could be studying something or learning to play the guitar. In my case, it was boundaries. I wanted to learn what God-honoring boundaries are.

The realigning phase is when you are refocusing at the end of your sabbatical on everything you’re learning and what it means for your future. What does this mean? Does it mean I’m leaving this ministry and going to a new one? Does it mean I stay in this ministry but need to change some things?

The process has rhythm, and it’s hard to skip any of the steps.

Sabbatical coaches

I like to use the word “guide” because a coach can mean different things to different people.

Things to look for in a coach:

The person guiding the coaching experience should have experienced a sabbatical. They should have a passion for being a sabbatical coach. They know how to find resources and keep you accountable. And they need to have the capacity to be your coach.

It’s not boring if you stick with the plan and are intentional.

While sabbaticals are supposed to be restful in some stages, they can also be emotionally draining in others.

I’ve never had anyone regret taking a sabbatical.

After the first meeting with the coach, you should have steps to take for your pre-sabbatical.

Some of us serve so much, and it’s hard for us to be served. It can be hard for people to imagine that Jesus wants to serve them.

Sabbatical is an act of trust. If no one leads your ministry when you take a sabbatical, maybe your ministry needs to take a sabbatical, too.

What if my supporters don’t agree with me taking a sabbatical?

Pitfalls to avoid

If you don’t have a plan. Even if you don’t have a coach, you can try to do a sabbatical on your own, but it probably won’t be as successful.

People don’t have accountability, and that comes when people don’t have a plan.

They don’t fully step away from ministry, or they pull away from their ministry and join some other ministry.

They don’t do anything. They don’t have a plan. They don’t have accountability, and they’re just bored and don’t know why they’re taking a sabbatical.

They don’t know what a sabbatical is and they call home assignment or furlough a sabbatical.

Final thought

You’re not going to shrivel up and die if you don’t take a sabbatical, but I’ve never seen anyone who doesn’t benefit from a sabbatical.

You can have someone who eats unhealthy food and they live until they’re ninety, but if they would have eater better quality food they may have had a different experience of life.

• 00:00 Intro
• 01:00 The Special Role of Coaching
• 04:44 Who Needs Coaching?
• 07:54 What Makes A Good Coaching Session?
• 10:48 A Theology of Suffering
• 20:44 Spiritual Warfare
• 29:24 The Dangers of Neglecting Spiritual Warfare
• 33:36 Learning to Ministry in a New Land
• 40:05 Transitioning off the Field
•  53:03 Advice for People in Transition

The Special Role of Coaching

Coaching isn’t the only good thing. I think we all need every kind of conversation we can have, especially when we’re on the field.

Coaching is all about encouraging, supporting, and sparing people on. Celebrating wins. Spotting what’s there to be celebrated and cheered on.

Often, we start by asking, “What’s going well? What are you celebrating? What has God been doing?”

Who Needs Coaching?

Whether you’re a leader or a team member, just by yourself or part of the group, I think it could be useful to figure out what I am doing. What does success look like for me? What’s my unique shape, and how does that play out here?

If you’re leading a team or you’re pioneering in the work you’re doing yourself, having someone to journey alongside you, a thinking partner, I think it would be really useful and helpful.

Because coaching is nonjudgmental and confidential, I think it can be such a godsend when you just need to process some of the stuff that’s happening and some of the dynamics that are going on. Having a safe space to do that, especially when things can be quite chaotic, is really really valuable.

What Makes A Good Coaching Session?

It’s helpful to take a moment before you come into a session to think about where you want to see some change, movement, growth, or clarity in your life, your role, or your team in the next six months to a year. What is it that you’re hoping for?

Coaching and the coaching conversation is about looking forward with Hope and with a sense of, Hey,  it’s possible to move forward, and it’s possible to get unstuck. It’s possible to lean into your potential in your growth.

Come with your hope in your dream, and then work together to see how that can come together one step at a time. But I wouldn’t disqualify yourself if you think, “I don’t have a clue!” because your first few sessions could be about figuring out together who you are and what you might start to dream about.

A Theology of Suffering

I’m talking about having hope in a dream. There’s also space and honesty to be real about where it’s not working out.

This was really hard and disappointing, but I want to regain that glimmer of hope.

A good understanding of spiritual warfare is absolutely essential for cross-cultural ministry of any sort. But it also requires a strong theology of suffering and what it means to hold onto faith in the midst of really tough times and to be able to sit with others in that moment.

So much of scripture has been written to groups of people who are going through persecution, saying, Keep going. Keep moving. Look to the Lamb. Look to Jesus.

Having a theology of suffering is absolutely essential.

Growing is painful, but its fruit is sweet.

In the theology of suffering, we want to have a very strong picture of what we promised that will absolutely come about and will be fulfilled. It’s kind of both. God really does and can’t step in right now and do amazing things. It’s not one or the other; it’s both.

Spiritual Warfare

When we moved to the Middle East, I recognized that I wanted to control the situation by being very well trained and making sure I got the language down well. I love language learning. And all of that was really great. And then we hit this thing where we would experience attacks.

I felt like there was something there that shouldn’t be.

The former fortune teller said, “This is the power I’ve been looking for my whole life, but it doesn’t come from me. It comes from God.”

The Dangers of Neglecting Spiritual Warfare

I think sometimes we approach situations without a kind of fourth angle. We can go about it very logically or emotionally or think we need some medical advice. Actually, coming from the spiritual angle as well can sometimes bring about the shift. Often, it’s a combination of all four.

I imagined them as this big lion, which was scary, and I was this little mouse. And that’s how I felt. Every time they came, they roared, and I just wanted to run away and be like a mouse. And I was praying my little mouse prayer.

It wasn’t about me feeling unsafe any more.

If God is really here with me, what could change? What could be different? And how can we bless others?

Learning to Ministry in a New Land

Lots of trial and error.

It’s like you’re a seed, and you have to replant yourself in a new place. All of the core of who you are and who you’ve been made to be is the same in that seat of who God made you to be. But the way you grow up, the shape you take in a different place, is totally different.

A lot of it becomes a lot more simply about being close to God each day, asking him what to do, and doing it.

Who we are is just as much a part of the message as what we do.

The relationship is the task.

Being with people in the highs and the lows, being a friend, being faithful, and modeling who we are in our relationship with God is ministry.

Transitioning off the Field

The government started clamping down on foreigners like us.

Islands of stability in the sea of change. We often need things that are the unchangeable’s. But for me, it felt like everything had ended. Like I had been put out to pasture.

I wasn’t being put out to pasture. I was being led into green pastures.

It felt like reconstructing a whole life.

God doesn’t waste things. It definitely felt like a lot of things were being thrown away back then.

Eleven years later, as we were coming back to our home country, there was the sense of counting the cost again of having given up the career route, which would’ve looked so nice on the CV.

When we went out to the field, we found out that we couldn’t have kids. So, for myself, the hardest part was negotiating that whole journey and the bigger story of being on mission together.  I had always assumed that being a mom would be part of my calling.

If my calling isn’t this shape, then what is it going to be?

Transitioning off the Field

Have people who can walk with you in this in various different ways.

Speaking grace over yourself in this time is first priority.

Remember the big picture first. Stay in a relationship with God take care of yourself. If you have a family or those around you, take care of them as well.

There are three phases of transition:

Ending well. What would it look like to end? To finish in a wholesome healthy way? Where would you need to say goodbye to? Who would you need to say goodbye to? What reconciliation could happen? What kind of traditions or rituals would you want to do as a celebration of what’s been good? What things might need to be processed? Checking the dust off your feet before you move.

The middle phase. I like to think of this as the faith space. The space before you jump into what is next, where you have a moment to think about who you’ve become in the previous season. How have you changed? What has been God been speaking to you about? How are you different now as a result of what’s happened compared to when you first started the previous chapter? What’s changed with you? What are some of the things that you stand for or believe in that you didn’t before? Listening to what’s tagging in your heart. Before leaping, take that time to think, feel, and process.

New beginnings take time. Just be OK, but in the beginning, it’s going to be hard and slow. It’ll take a while to make friends and get connected. Choose a couple of things and walk in those. Believe in a good new beginning.

Emotions are like snails; they come out when they are safe.

• 00:00 Intro
• 01:00 Finding Jesus on the Field
• 06:30 Cross-cultural Marriages
• 11:33 Raising Third-Culture Kids
• 18:10 Transitioning off the field
• 22:22 Resigning leadership
• 25:11 Should I be bi-vocational?
• 28:43 Member Care
• 36:45 Staying close to the Father

Finding Jesus on the Field

Christ said, “If you first seek the kingdom, I will provide whatever you need.” And we thought, yes, that is the real help.”

I believed in God, but I didn’t know what Christ had done for me.

One evening, we had a really good talk with the pastor and his wife. I thought I was already converted, but he asked me, “Are you certain?” And I said, “I don’t know. I think so. My life has changed a lot. But I’m not certain.” So that evening, with the pastor, me and my wife, on our knees, in front of the sofa, prayed. And from that moment on, I knew and I believed that I’m a child of God.

Cross-cultural Marriages

In the beginning, it’s a blessing that things are different from what you’re used to, and that’s nice. The family, the culture, and the way they think about things. It’s all new and exciting. But after a while, the same things can start to become…”hmm why do they always have to do it like this?”

When you start seeing the cultural through your own glasses again, that’s when you really have to take care not to become critical and negative.

Advice for couples from different cultures looking to get married: Spend time together in both countries! And look for a coach or a mentor.

So many times there are things that annoy you in your spouse, but you love them too much to say anything. You don’t want to hurt them. A mentor or counselor can teach you how to verbalize your feelings.

Raising Third-Culture Kids

After we had kids, my wife realized that if she does not learn my language and the kids learn my language, she is going to have a problem.

We thought we would stay there a long, long time. And we thought, if the people in this country can go to these schools and become smart people, I think our kids can also go there.

We didn’t want our kids to be outsiders. We wanted them to be part of the community we were living in.

Transitioning off the field

“The house of the painter is the least painted house.” I very well knew about transition, I learned it to help other people go through transition, but I thought I don’t have time enough to have someone helping us to go through transition.

We thought we would transition to another country on the field. We never thought we would transition to my home country.

My brother in-law became fifty. They asked us to write something and then they would make a nice book for him. So there I was, sitting in front of my empty paper, and just realized at that (I think it had been 22 years since I had left my country), I don’t really know my family any more.

Resigning leadership

I always said I didn’t want to be the leader for many, many years.

I realized, back in my home country, that I wasn’t a “missionary” anymore and that I wasn’t a leader anymore. I had lost a big part of my identity.

In the beginning, when we came here, you’re still that special person who was in missions and is now here. And wow, how could they make that step of faith to come back? But then, after a few months, or half a year, you’re just one of all the others.

Should I be bi-vocational?

Even when we were on the field, there were times when we didn’t have enough, but God always provided.

In the beginning I was really into being bi-vocational. I thought this is a nice thing, I could do my work in the morning and then I could do some missions work, and then I can do work in the afternoon again. After a while I found out that it too much more energy from me then I was expecting.

And although the work I was doing was good, my heart was really in missions.

We know that approximately one out of five people have mental health problems. For missionaries and people working in churches, it’s one out of three. And I want to help these people get out of these one in three be able to thrive in missions.

God’s enemy does not like when people come to faith. So if he can make trouble for missionaries after a while they will burn out, and say ok, I stop. I’m going home. I’m going to do something completely different.

Member Care

A lot of problems in teams. You see problems between team members because of cultural differences. Another big one is communications. Not clearly communicating with one another and so we have different expectations from one another.

Sometimes, it only takes one border. You would think two countries right next to each other are kind of the same, they understand each other. You think we are the same. But we are very different.

I said so many things to my wife that were rude that I never intended to be rude. But because of her culture she perceived what I said in a completely different way.

I’ve seen so many discussions where the people talking are not on the same level. And they don’t know. And you know this is going to be a big problem.

Staying close to the Father

God’s word is like a sieve for you when you don’t want to read the Bible, but you still read the Bible; God’s word comes to you, works in your mind, and maybe you don’t feel like it does a lot, but it does. It always does. It’s God’s word.

• 00:00 Intro
• O1:00 Meeting my first missionary
• 05:27 Leaving pastoring to become a missionary
• 09:52 Church mobilization
• 13:56 Resourcing churches
• 21:33 Communicating with your church back home
• 27:27 COVID changed everything 
• 30:12 Trends in sending
• 36:16 Doing People Care
• 44:43 keeping close to the Father

Meeting my first missionary

I found out that the husband had to put his pants on one leg at a time, just as I did…And I said, “Wow, these are real people.”

I began to pray for them, and then I became interested in the other missionaries the church supported. That’s when God first began to grab my heart for the nations.

Missions was a big deal at the seminary.

I started a church, and these were going to be the foundation, expository preaching, and God’s heart for the nations. We were a small church in the beginning, but within six weeks of starting to meet, we began to take up offerings for missionaries.

After I had been at the church for 24 years, the Lord began to work in my heart and give me a sense of restlessness: It was time for me to leave pastoring and do something else.

Less than five prescient of the churches in North America were engaged in missions.

So I said, “Lord, if you can use me to mobilize this other 95% and help them become engaged in missions, then I want to be a part of that.”

Leaving pastoring to become a missionary

In pastoring a church, there are a lot of challenges.

Because I realize that my identity is not in what I did but who I was in Christ, I think that foundation really helped me not to go through any kind of identity crisis.

It was a change of roles. And God can change our roles.

I was sitting in my office one day and I thought what if God calls me to be a missionary? The immediate answer that came to mind was, well then I would have to raise support. And that’s something I would never do. So I know God is never going to call me to that.

I did cry a lot of tears because that was 24 years of my life, but I have no regrets. I know I’m doing what God wants me to do now.

Church Mobilization

We wanted to see a paradigm shift in the way Churches viewed mission agencies.

We’ve got a pastor now; he can connect with pastors.

We want to give you resources on the church’s role in missionary care.

It was amazing how many churches said yes.

The fact that we were paying and bringing them resources lowered suspicion, and it built trust, which is absolutely essential.

Relationships and trust are essential for every level of mission work.

And then Covid changed everything.

Resource Churches

Communicating to the church that, yes, our organization has a role in caring for your worker, but you have a role, you are an important part of the health and well-being of the worker that you’re sending.

We had resources for caring for missionary kids.

Churches expect their workers to communicate with them, but to emphasize to them, you need to communicate with your workers on a regular basis.

This gives the people in the pew a sense of ownership and responsibility in the Great Commission.

John Piper said, “You’re either a goer, asunder, or disobedient.”

We want to give you resources so that you can debrief your workers when they come home.

We said, “How are you doing?” And she said, “Oh, I’m fine. I’m great. I’m doing just wonderful.” And so we took that at face value, we didn’t probe, and we didn’t ask any more questions.

I wish I had debriefing resources so we could’ve known how important it was to sit down with her and not just take what she said at face value but ask probing questions so that we could better understand where she was at and how we could get her the help she needed.

Communicating with your church back home

Four things come to my mind. The first three are: Communicate, Communicate, communicate, and communicate. Workers need to be consistent in their communication.

Workers must remember that their home church is also a part of their ministry.

Workers can have the habit of just talking about the successes and the home runs.

It’s about creating personal links.

The leaders of the church need to be casting the vision to the congregation.

COVID changed everything

When Covid hit, people weren’t being sent. Churches went into hunker-down mode.

It was survival mode for churches.

Missions was put on the back burner.

When the problems that Covid had created, began to dissipate, the churches had created some new habits that weren’t good. They had stayed in survival mode. They had stayed in hunker-down mode. Mission stayed on the back burner.

And getting healthy again, the nations were left out of the picture.

Covid did a lot of damage and got people into a lot of bad habits that they were still trying to recover from.

Trends in sending

Marketplace workers are growing. Is it a fad? Is it a trend generated by the spirit? I don’t know yet.

I would lean towards something the spirit of God is doing.

It’s always easier to go from one extreme to the other, rather than staying in the center of biblical tension.

The challenge for marketplace workers is, how are you going to make disciples? You can go there and be a witness, but how are you going to go there and make disciples?

When marketplace workers go out, they are going out as workers. They need everything else a support-raising worker needs except this financial support.

Doing People Care

I was asking myself, “What am I supposed to do?” I was in a sort of wilderness experience, just saying, “Lord, why am I here? Am I still supposed to be here?”

Immediately, my heart said yes because God had prepared me for this.

I’m in a men’s discipleship class right now. It’s been one of the best things I’ve ever done, facilitating the discipline of a group of men.  That is one of the things that keeps me alive.

When workers think, I’ve got to get so much done, and so much depends on me, I’ve got to go go go go, and they don’t practice Sabbath. They don’t know how to take breaks. You’re working for the Lord so much that you’re not spending time with him. I think those are factors that I see affecting workers that contribute to burnout.

The idea that once I’m called to do something, I’m supposed to do that for a lifetime, not recognizing that roles can change and locations can change. God can call you to a different role.

Keeping close to the Father

I spend time every day with Jesus. And not just Jesus, but to try God.

One of the best books I’ve ever read about the Trinity is Delighting in the Trinity by Michael Reeves.

It’s not on my checklist to do. I get to meet with God.

I try to always take the posture of a learner.

I’ve got to fight to stay close to Jesus. And fighting is difficult.

• 00:00 Intro
• 01:00 From Accounting to Missions
• 09:33 Leaving the field after 15 years
• 11:11 Why quit your job?
• 15:00 Misunderstanding marketplace workers
• 24:35 Working for the glory of God
• 37:44 Missionaries having fun
• 45:05 Staying spiritually healthy
• 53:34 Changing your mind

From Accounting to Missions

We were not what I thought was a typical missionary.

I never once saw an accountant get up and talk about the work God was doing through them amongst the nations. It was always the Bible translators, the church planters, the marginalized workers, digging wells, all the kind of typical stuff. But that wasn’t me. So I said, “I guess I can’t go. I guess missions is not for me.”

The first thing we did was quit our jobs and start raising support. We did what we thought was the natural thing to do. Quit our jobs and raise support.

We had a real heart for the Muslim world. We were wondering where there could be an alignment between our professional skills, our passion for people, and engaging in natural, normal ways with those from a background.

Leaving the field after 15 years

After being 15 years in a particular place doing a particular work, your identity becomes very much wrapped up into what you do, where you are.

After moving back to my home country, he was like OK. Who am I now? How do I tell people who I am?

Why quit your job?

I had no idea that I could use my professional skills in ministry.

I came across a group that was saying, “Why quit your job?” Why not find a job in another country in a place where you can continue to use your skills and experience, grow your career that God has given you, and make a difference for His namesake in the marketplace there?

A marketplace worker is a Jesus follower who is intentionally working in the marketplace, using their skills and profession, to glorify God, and to share the gospel of those around them.

Misunderstanding Marketplace workers

As much as I loved working with this particular team in Eastern Europe, I was working with believers all day.

One of the advantages of being an intentional marketplace worker is access. You have a legitimate reason to be where you are.

We are meant to live all of life on mission for the Lord.

Working for the Glory of God

Work is good and was given to Adam and Eve before the fall. It’s not a result of sin, but it has been tainted and corrupted by sin. So work is painful, and toil is difficult, and it’s not what it was meant to be.

There’s a sense that God has put in each of us this innate desire and need to work.

SHAPE

1. Spiritual Gifts
2. Heart
3. Ability
4. Personality
5. Experience

When you talk about your personal brand, it’s really all about how you can serve others.

Being an intentional marketplace worker is not something that happens to you when you jump on a plane and go to a foreign country, it should happen right where you are right now.

Missionaries having fun

It’s really important to have a hobby. It’s really important to have an outlet.

What are the questions we don’t ask ourselves is why is there so much good in the world? And we need to celebrate that because anything good is from our Father.

One of the benefits of engaging in these fun activities is something called “stacking.“

We had what we affectionately called Forced Family Fun Night.” You’re gonna have fun no matter what.

I would divide my day up into thirds and have two of them for work and one of them for family and for yourself.

Staying spiritually healthy

A lot of spiritual health goes back to relationships, we are created for relationship with others and we need that support and help and to know that we’re not alone.

We have a small team of people that we can rely upon to share more personal challenges and needs that we probably wouldn’t share in a newsletter.

Sometimes I’m so encouraged by other exes, who are struggling with the same thing, I’m like oh really, do you have that problem too? Oh really don’t understand why they do that either? I’m so glad I’m not the only one.

Changing you mind

It’s so beautiful to see others worship Jesus in a culturally relevant way.

Arabs are closer to Jesus culturally than I am as a Western. A lot of the cultural stuff that goes over our heads, they get it.

• 00:00 Intro 
• 01:00 The process of total surrender  
• 03:05 Lesson 1 It’s not about me  
• 04:15 Lesson 2 The Lesson of Worship 
• 06:40 Lesson 3 The Lesson of Prayer 
• 07:12 Lesson 4 The Lesson of my own Brokenness 
• 09:12 Lesson 5 The Lesson of Grieving
• 10:08 Lesson 6 The Lesson of Relationships 
• 10:40 Lesson 7 The Lesson of Highest Importance 
• 12:00 Learning to grieve  
• 16:15 You are not a victim 
• 18:16 Don’t compare 
• 24:25 What is faithfulness?
• 27:13 Practicing the presence
• 30:50 Transitioning 
• 35:43 Church mobilization 
• 45:52 The effects of technology admissions

The Process of Total Surrender 

There came a time when I felt like God was asking me, “The gifts and the talents that I’ve given you, for what are you using them?”

I thought I was going to go there for two years, and now 20 years letter, I’m still here. I can hardly believe it myself.

Lesson One: It’s not about me

It’s not about me. It’s about God and his glory. 

Having an attitude of service to God and knowing it’s all about him, it’s not about my strengths or my ideas.

Lesson two: The Lesson of Worship

I’m a passionate musician, so I love to sing and play music. I was singing for way too long in the wrong way and I actually hurt my vocal cords and I had to be quiet for an entire month. That totally broke me.

The lesson I learned is that worship is not about my voice or about me; it’s about my heart and my heart attitude. God looks at the heart.

My heart was pouring out praise and worship.

I think everyone is a worship leader, and I am 24/7 a worship leader. We have the ability to lead people into the presence of God, into wanting to praise him, wanting to thank him, offering our lives to him, and surrendering to him.

Lesson 3: The Lesson of Prayer

I learned that prayer works, God still does do miracles. He uses us normal, broken people.

God doesn’t need us, but he chooses to use us.

Lesson 4 The Lesson of My Own Brokenness

God did a big work inside my heart: where do I run to for comfort when I’m in pain?

I’ve learned that Jesus is the ultimate coping mechanism.

Jesus is the only one who can truly meet my deepest needs: my need to be loved, my need for safety and security, and my need for purpose and significance.

There are many good painkillers in the world. Netflix. Food. Busyness. But I’ve learned to run to Jesus.

I’ve learned the power of the cross, the place of exchange where I can bring my past hurts and receive healing.

Lesson 5: The Lesson of Grieving

Dealing with singleness, I used to run to self-pity. Somebody once told me that self-pity is like running into Satan and crying on Satan’s lap.

I want to run to Jesus and cry in his lap. How do you do that? It’s grieving. It involves being totally honest with your pain, naming it, crying, and giving it to Jesus. It involves trusting that pain to him. I need you. Comfort me. That’s grieving.

Lesson 6 The Lesson of Relationships

I’ve become more and more aware that what will last is relationships. You can’t buy it, but they’re so so important.

Lesson 7 The Lesson of Highest Importance

What is really important? First of all, it’s not ministry. It’s not going and evangelizing. It’s not going to build this amazing ministry. Doing this or that. I believe the biggest thing I can do on this planet called Earth is loving God with all my heart, my soul, my mind, and my strength. And then out of that, we say, “Jesus, use me wherever you want me.”

The greatest thing we can do is not ministry, but it’s cultivating that love relationship with the father. Following him, being with him, becoming like him.

Learning to Grieve

It’s very important to be very honest with God. You know, God can handle us.

We can be angry with God. I think that’s OK. But then, when we start judging God, I think that’s dangerous because God is the judge we are not.

Jesus also died on the cross for our pain, not just our sins. We’re very quick to give Jesus our sins, but when it comes to pain, we often tend to think we know how to deal with pain.

We should say, “God, you’re the judge; you will deal with this. I don’t need to be the judge.” But then we still need to deal with our pain.

You are not a victim

Many people are having a victim mentality. And I’ve become more aware of when I start to feel like a victim, or acting like a victim, or thinking like a victim. That’s so dangerous because we are not a victim.

We are children; we are not victims of circumstances.

Don’t Compare

Both singleness and marriage are a gift. And there are positives and negatives to both sides. But we often compare. The grass is always greener on the other side.

It’s so dangerous to compare.

Comparing is so flipping dangerous. It pulls us down.

I compared myself, but then I realized, “No, I’m accountable to Jesus only.” I need to follow him. One day, I will be rewarded for what I did. So I should not compare.

Over time God healed me from that mindset and I’ve accepted the way I am, the way God made me. I made peace with how God made me. I received his love and I decided I love myself as well. Lord, I just want to love you back and serve you.

I need to follow Christ, not as somebody else, but as who God has made me.

The five bread and two fish, I give that little to you, and trust that you will multiply. I don’t need to look at those people over there that have 20 fish and 30 loaves of bread.

What is Faithfulness?

Admitting when things do go well and you do see results, you can say, Wow, that was a success. Or I get good feedback, so that means it was a success. But more and more Lately when I’m growing, and I want to grow closer and deeper in love with Jesus, I think, I start to measure success and faithfulness in do I show up and spend time with Jesus?

How is my walk with Jesus? Do I spend time with him? Do I commune with him? Is my relationship with Jesus intimate? I can measure success by how my relationship with Jesus is.

Practicing the Presence

I started going for walks every morning and I’m still doing that today. My prayer walk is like a rhythm. I leave my phone behind. But I go in nature and I pray.

I would not like to live without that. It has become such an important rhythm.

Transitioning

I came to a place where I thought the will of God is not a geographic location, but more a state of heart.

I can bring glory to God in Africa. I can serve God and live for him in Europe or in the Middle East. It’s about my heart attitude.

It wasn’t easy, but I knew that it was time.

We had a situation where a new Director came into the situation, and there was a lot of pain. It caused a lot of pain and issues. Some people left. When I got to know the situation in the new leader and how everything works, I really felt as well, asking God if it is really still my place or not.

God was really preparing my heart to move on.

Church mobilization

“Mission mobilizing is any event where God’s people are awakened, and they keep moving and growing until they find their strategic place in the task of completing world evangelization” – Wesley Tullis

God is really giving me a passion to mobilize.

I’ve discovered the gifting and the passion to mobilize.

Mobilizing is my strategic place in the task of World Evangelization.

Lord, bring it on. Here I am. Use me.

It was interesting to come back to the West. I did not expect so much paperwork and administration.

I didn’t expect it would be so hard to get into churches. The main way we get into churches is through relationships.

Yes, it’s important to evangelize our locals, but man, what about the least reached?

Information alone does not really move very many people, so we try to pass on the information through interaction, through being creative.

The effects of technology admissions

This generation is not willing to commit to long-term missions. So even two years is long-term for them.

This generation has a fear of missing out. They want to keep all the options open.

When I meet people or ask, “How were they mobilized?” It’s usually not through social media. Why did they actually want to go to missions? Mostly, it’s because they’ve known somebody else who’s been to the field. It comes back again to relationships.

• 00:00 Intro
• 01:00 From conversion to missions
• 04:20 Discipling and spiritual warfare
• 18:43 People Development
• 24:40 Finding God’s will
• 33:00 Learning over the long haul
• 35:00 Leadership matters
• 42:50 Pitfalls and Competencies
• 47:30 Restoration after failure 

From Conversation to Missions

I grew up with a great awareness of the supernatural and a great fear of it.

My life had changed, and God was in me. My bible started to make a bit of sense.

Right from my conversion I was wanting to go full-time. 

I saw the need for discipleship amongst the least-reached people. I had this hunger for missions.

If I’m going to do church planting, I’m going to need to know what a church looks like.

Discipling and spiritual warfare

I was asking more basic questions for which they didn’t have the answers.

I wasn’t interested in church planting in our neighborhood. I was interested in church planting amongst those who didn’t know.

Even after we equipped people with evangelism explosion, we still didn’t see anyone come to Christ.

God said to me very clearly, “When you’re ready to disciple them, I’ll give you converts.”

You need to disciple people from scratch; you’re not inviting people into a body where they sit and listen, and that’s it.

My spiritual gift is my spiritual job description.

We need to teach people to live by faith. We talked about the whole Christien thing is about Faith, but how do you learn to teach somebody to trust in God? How do you teach somebody to learn to hear God’s voice? How do you teach somebody watch in obedience and submission? To me, it’s a fundamental of discipleship. Not just engaged with God, but engaged with God.

I live in a Western community, and we support the mission, but there’s no sense of the reality of the evil one.

Unless God deals with things in the spiritual realm, there is no hope of life, understanding, or insight in our hearts and lives.

If there’s no rain on the mountain, there’s going to be no water in the valley.

The whole understanding of the reality of the enormity of spiritual warfare is something that a lot of folks just aren’t even aware of.

We quote scripture, but we have no idea what it actually means.

People Development

I suffered with an inferiority complex when I was a teenager. But to come to the point where I realize that God shaped me in the womb, God had made me to serve him, God, uniquely, put my background, my family, as good or bad as that was, because he had a purpose for me.

For me, the whole idea of calling is key. Unless I know that I’m here because this is where God wants me, I don’t have the guts, the faith, the tenacity to see things out. But because I know this is where God wants me, then I know that he will help me and I can trust him to get through this, regardless of the opposition, regardless of the difficulty, regardless of the lack of resources.

People have the sense that God’s will is a mystery and is going to remain a mystery.

Finding God’s Will

The fundamental question of discipleship is, how do we help people hear the voice of God, discern the promises of God for them, spend time with God, and engage with God?

The arena of Gods’ activity is far bigger than you can imagine.

The Earth will be fulled with the knowledge of the glory of the Lord, the purposes of God will prevail.

We have to learn to hear God‘s voice. I don’t believe for a moment that God wants us to be ignorant of his will for our own lives.

But we went to pray, and we asked, “God, this is yours. What do you want us to do?”

We often go and complain to God and bring all of our issues to God, and then walk away and close the door. Instead of saying, OK, let me wait for the answer. Let me wait and see what God is going to say.

It’s not a matter of waiting of until this makes sense in my head. It’s a matter of until the spring peace in my heart, and I can trust God with it, regardless of whether it makes sense or not.

Learning over the long haul

I don’t want to waste my life on what is not significant to God. I’m not interested in hanging around beyond my due date. So, if God has something new for me to do or step into, I want to step into that.

It’s a conviction that God has a purpose for my life, and I want to walk with him in that purpose. That purpose is developing and unfolding as I go.

Leadership matters

Accomplishing God‘s desired results through people by building them up and making them successful. To me, that’s the essence of leadership.

What are my strengths, what are my contributions to leadership, and where do I need help?

You’re going to have to have a leadership team if you want any kind of ministry of significance.

Without God, we cannot. Without us, God will not.

We have to learn that we are not the center of God’s attention. If I think I’m the center of what God is doing, I will never make sense of my life or anything God is doing.

A lot of people are frustrated or disappointed with God because he’s not doing what they expected him to do for them.

God has greater plants and greater purposes of which we are a part.

What I have to do and what I’ve been called to do are by God’s mercy; they are not circumstantial. It’s not the organization that gives me my calling in my role; it’s God.

Pitfalls Competencies

You never lose authority by giving away authority. You multiply authority by giving it away.

Beware of the focus of the task to the detriment of people.

Dead center in all of that is that I have to manage myself as a leader and understand my unique rules in the changing demands of this leadership.

Character has to be stronger than competency.

When I’ve seen leaders go wrong is when they stop listening to God and they stopped listening to people, and they’ve created their own fantasy world in which they think they have to succeed.

Restoration after failure

The reality is there any leader of significance, but it’s not had to overcome failure? Because we are all moral failures. We are works in progress. We are his masterpiece.

The world is very cruel today. We would never accept David as our king. And he wouldn’t be allowed in membership in our church.

Restoration is about God and not about the person.

I think we need to get around fallen leaders, and there is the option of restoration.

Sometimes the fallenness of a leader is a violent grace that God has allowed to strengthen him for his purposes going forward.

We’re not putting a person in leadership because they’re brilliant and wonderful. We’re putting a person in leadership because God has called them, and it’s God in them that is brilliant and wonderful.

• 00:00 Intro
• 01:00 Missions is for everyone
• 02:56 Doing different kinds of jobs
• 04:18 Why turnover is difficult
• 07:40 Conflict on the field
• 12:33 How the field helps you back home
• 14:35 Re-entry
• 17:17 Marketplace missions
• 22:45 Singleness of the field
• 31:30 Staying spiritually healthy

Missions is for everyone

My parents were very welcoming, and we had missionaries come to stay with us from time to time…It was the first time I ever heard anyone speak in something that wasn’t English.

I was always interested in missions, but I never imagined doing it myself.

In university, I was taught for the first time that missions is for everyone.

I thought eating worms and caterpillars was a basic missionary’s skill that I did not have. I was a bit of a picky eater, so I just thought missions is not for me.

Doing different kinds of jobs

When you look at the vacancies, every mission field in the world needs finance people. This is a good call for the financial people, the mathematicians, accountants: missions is for you.

Turnover

You get much closer to people much quicker; they’re like your family. And then they’re gone.

Embrace the pain. Don’t close your heart to new people.

On a lot of fields, a lot of people go for one or two years. So it’s like a quarter of your church moving every year. You never get that at home. Whereas on the field, a quarter of your team leaving every year is normal.

Conflict on the field

There are some times when you just should assume the best in people. Assume that the person means to be kind, and polite, and loving, and it came out wrong.

You can’t take offense at everything because then you will never get anywhere.

When you’ve got over the shock of whatever happened, your choice is, are you going to walk the path of bitterness, or are you going to walk the path of forgiveness?

See everything through the lens of people care.

Most of the time, when someone snaps at you, it has little to do with you; it’s probably mostly about them and how they’re doing.

You can forgive them a lot easier when you realize what they are going through.

I think it’s biblical to be un-offendable. Jesus died for us. Everything is paid for. We don’t need to be fighting a lot of battles.

How the field helps you back home

They used to tell us on the field, “embrace discomfort.” It’s ok to be uncomfortable.

On the field, someone would say, “You’re going to do a talk tomorrow. Make it happen.” But you come back to the West, and there are people in their 20s who have to get a visiting speaker if they want a talk. Seriously, we’re in a room of 30 people, and none of you are able to give a talk at an evangelistic event?

Re-entry

All three of my re-entries were completely different.

I came back and I felt very foreign. My church had a ministry with international students, and that was the only time in the week where I felt like I was at home.

After COVID, people’s personal space bubbles were a lot bigger, and mine was a lot smaller.

Marketplace missions

I found marketplace missions was great.

It was very natural. They didn’t have any suspicions of why I was there.

Most of my colleagues had never met a Christian before. That was just an opportunity. And these were people who wouldn’t normally hang out with Westerners, or they wouldn’t mix that much outside their families. These are people that wouldn’t ave been reached by other methods.

I chose to dress very modestly. Most of the Westerns thought it was a little weird. But it gave me a level of acceptance with the local women that none of them had. 

I had been taught about modesty, but I didn’t realize how many doors it opens. When you’re dressed a certain way, people are then comfortable to invite you to their house and introduce you to their relatives in a way that they’re not if you dress in a typical Western way.

It’s a great way in. You don’t have to fudge while you’re there.

In the Middle East, people don’t separate home and work or sacred and secular like they do in the West, so it’s much easier to talk about faith.

There’s always people who know more than you, usually they’re very happy to share their advice. You don’t know everything. Even if you’ve been there 20 years, you don’t know everything.

Singleness on the field

I think mostly being single on the field makes it easier because going into missions is a big upheaval.

As a single person, it’s so easy to just go somewhere.

But I think the reentry part is harder because you’ve literally left everyone behind. If you’re married, you brought your teammate with you.

I think some mission organizations are not set up well for older singles. They kind of treat all singles the same. A 50-year-old single gets treated the same as an 18-year-old single. But actually, you’re different, and your needs are different.

I don’t think it’s healthy to always be around single people. Being around couples and families is really good. Especially because realizing that being married is a beautiful romantic thing in the movies. It’s actually hard, and you don’t always agree with each other. And children are not always perfectly behaved how perfectly you parent them.

Life is tough. So if you see the other side of the fence and you’re like, you know what, both sides of the fence are difficult. That’s much healthier than imagining that all the people are having a perfect life that you’re shut out from.

A Middle Eastern second wife means, in addition to, the first wife.

Staying spiritually healthy

There has to be the bedrock of you and God every day.

Controversially, I don’t like reading the Bible in a year. It’s too rushed, and it’s too much.

I’m at the point on the Bible app that my streak is so long that I’m a bit obsessive. I have to read it every day. Because I love Jesus, not because I like my Bible streak.

I think lack of confidence in the Bible trying to be a bit more politically correct a big temptation for a lot of people in the west. But also comfort. The idol of comfort. We don’t want anyone to push us out of our comfort zone.

We are never going to find answers to spiritual problems in political parties.

• 00:00 Intro 
• 01:00 The Spectacular Ordinary Christian Life
• 05:00 The value of living with simplicity 
• 07:25 The missions community needs more simplicity 
• 10:00 Overwork on the field 
• 12:00 The Cycle of Grace
• 14:35 #1 Tell the Truth
• 20:49 #2 Live with an open Palm 
• 28:00 #3 Allow yourself to be Vulnerable 
• 32:16 #4 Beware of Answers 
• 39:05 #5 Practice Self-forgetfulness 
• 44:33 #6 Take your time when saying Yes
• 48:58 #7 Keep Jesus and His Kingdom at the Center 

The Spectacular Ordinary Life

It was a very ordinary act of service to God, but Jesus called attention to it and made it spectacular.

We need to practice simplicity because these things can overwhelm us. When we lose touch with what’s going on around us, we lose touch with ourselves and also lose touch with God.

We want to be able to pay attention to what is around us without being exhausted by it.

The missions community is probably more needy than their secular counterparts because if you’ve committed your life to God, you have the overlining pressure that you are working for God, you’re working in some other place, you’re having to adapt to the culture, you’re having to slow down, you have to listen to what’s going on around you in a fresh way, all the frustrations of understanding the culture.

There are lots of guys that I meet as I travel around the world who are struggling with cynicism. They’re kind of exhausted on the inside. They are struggling with finding freshness in their own lives. They’re not paying attention as they should. And somehow, they are totally committed to overwork. Workaholism is a great challenge in cross-cultural life.

If you’re carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders, that’s a great place to get messed up.

It’s so easy to pretend when you’re in this line of work.

You don’t want to end up 20 years later going what happened there? Why am I so dry? How come I’m burnt out?

Cycle of Grace

The Cycle of Grace has to do with where you begin in your active service, which begins with acceptance. That you begin with Jesus accepts you.

The Cycle of Work, which is the other side, the darker side, begins with achievement. You begin with I must achieve, and you think in your achievement, you will be loved, welcomed, and enjoy your life.

1 Don’t Lie

If you look at how people live their lives, the more deception, lies, and half-truths they engage in, the more complex their lives are.

You can’t always tell exactly the whole truth—I don’t believe that’s possible—but you can take the truth seriously.

The enemy is too clever for me to try to live my life on my own in some isolated space.

2 Live with an open Palm

Living with an open palm means that in your relationship to God you’re able to say to God I am ready for anything, I’m ready for whatever you give me. If you give me great honor, a great reputation, and a successful life in worldly terms, I’m prepared to accept that. It means a life of suffering, pain, and hardship, and I’m ready to go with that too.

The idea is you don’t have anything you grip onto for your survival.

God takes us on a journey gradually, often finger by finger, opening up our fists. And making our palms open so he can put whatever he likes on us.

I think we’ve been very much affected by the prosperity gospel, even those of us who don’t believe in the prosperity gospel, have been affected by it. We think if I live this authentic life with God that all will go well with me, and it’s a myth. It may be that the more you live your life with God, the more trouble you will be in.

If you want a full life, you need to be stretched. That’s the problem in the city where I live. Everyone’s busy, but they are living a fundamentally boring life. They are fundamentally under-challenged.

3 Allow yourself to be Vulnerable

What do you do with your weaknesses and desires? How do you engage with them?

You start to learn to track your desires, good and bad, as true revelations of who you actually are.

It’s important to live simply because we are such mixed characters: we have weaknesses and strengths. If you deny these things, your life will be overcomplicated.

Don’t live a juvenile life. Have a life where you are dealing with realities of what’s in front of you and you’re not just wishing stuff away.

4 Beware of Answers

We often put pressure on God and pressure on ourselves to come up with quick answers.

Sometimes, we fall into a “God, fix it“or “God, sort it” mentality. “Give me a speedy answer. Get me out of this place.” And when he doesn’t pitch up with the answers, we go back to disappointment and cynicism. “Where did you go?”

Clear answers may not be the best answers.

You have to be willing to start the same practices in your life that will shape your life. You have to start to work on the nature of your prayer life—what’s happening there? The nature of my engagement with scripture—what’s happening there? The nature of my relationship with community—what’s happening there? The relationship with my body—what’s happening there?

Sometimes, you get an answer to something ten years after the question.

If you’re gonna have a heart attack, do it in India.

I have a suspicion that I may be in the most difficult part of my life, in the long walk home of sickness and heart disease, and Parkinson’s shapes its way around my life.

These things don’t get any easier, but the grace gets weightier.

5 Practice Self-forgetfulness

What are the disciplines of the Christian life to practice self-forgetfulness?

You enter into a place where you’re ready to forget yourself in servanthood and give your life away for others.

If you decent yourself, the pressure is off. If you want to be at the center, the press is on.

There’s no community that sells itself better than the missionary community.

Being self-centered is very boring. It’s a boring dance of self-observation.

6 Take your time when saying yes

There are so many demands on cross-cultural workers and full-time Christian workers.

The more yes, as you say, the more they start to meet down the road. I found this happening with my travel schedule over the years, I could say yes yes yes because during those three months I was doing fine. And yes, it was way too many things sorted themselves. I wish I hadn’t said yes in May when the decisions were coming out in September.

One of my gifts is saying no.

7 Keep Jesus and his kingdom at the center

If you know what the center is – loving God and loving Neighbor – all laws caught up in this, I think that’s challenging to live but beautifully simple.

If you know that the whole space, the whole idea is leaving space for God and Neighbor, that simplifies a lot of your life.

The old phrase, “love people and use things”, sometimes we turn that around to be “love things and use people.”

The Jesuits have a great image which I love, is that you live the Christian life with one foot raised. So you’re always in active of walking, you never stand still. There’s never two feet on the ground. Loving God and loving Neighbor is the path on which you walk.

Learning to live your life in a place of stable instability. You know where you’re stable and enables you to live through the instability that will inevitably happen.

• 00:00 Intro
• 01:00 Called to the Muslim World
• 03:27 Being a mentor
• 05:30 Keeping the Spiritual fire going
• 09:47 Advice for spiritual strugglers
• 13:55 Keeping a passion for ministry 
• 22:00 Pivoting in Ministry
• 27:34 Rookie DBS mistakes
• 31:51 What is the Church
• 38:10 Local leaders

I was so struck by peoples’ commitments to God, and yet they didn’t know Jesus.

From that point on, I was never thinking of doing anything else. I burned the bridge.

It was one of these things where someone had done it for me, in a very similar way, where I would hang out with him, and he could speak the language. And I would just fumble along. But just being around him, and visiting with people and learning, his ways was super helpful for me. So then it was just a natural thing to do for someone else when they come one or two steps behind you.

Spiritual Fire

The person I am today and the relationship I have with the Lord today are definitely very different than what it was when I came out to the Middle East. The difference now is intimacy with the Lord.

I have learned to be very purposeful and almost just learning how to get closer to the Lord. And sometimes, it can come across almost very mechanical and a sense, but the heart behind it is to get closer to the Lord to have that sense of really communing together.

Another thing that has helped me is finding people with a similar heart—and quite often, that’s not people on your team.

There’s a healthy jealousy where you say, “I would love to have a connection with the Lord like that person has.”

I have a couple of relationships with people further along in the journey who are just very concerned about me and my walk with the Lord, and that’s what we talk about from time to time. They’re not asking me so many questions about ministry outputs. They’re asking me about my walk with the Lord.

Advice for spiritual strugglers

I’ve taken the time to ask myself, ” How am I going to spend this time? What am I going to do with God?” I want to have time in the Word, but sometimes, I can spend all this time in the Word, and it’s like permanent Bible study time. Lots of information is coming in, and it’s on a head level. But how am I loving God with my heart as well?

It’s more of an art form than a science.

Keeping a passion for ministry 

For my time in the Middle East, roughly about 14 or 15 years of that time, there wasn’t a huge amount of fruit.

I made a shift in my ministry about four or five years ago.

One of the challenges for me was whenever you see someone else seeing the results that you desire, you start to wrestle with things like: is it me? Is it them? Who do we need to blame here? Somebody must be at fault.

Someone said to me quite early on in ministry, It’s good to have a hobby because whenever things in ministry don’t seem to be working, at least if you’ve got this hobby, you can be good at something.

That struggle with the comparison or cynicism, the lack of satisfaction, let’s say, in terms of the fruit, sadly, I’ve seen cause people to leave or just give up on it altogether. But for me, it’s really driving me closer to the Lord.     

Also being faithful in the sense of, ok, we are still focused on the vision that the Lord has given, but we’re willing to make changes from a places of faithfulness, to say, I’m not going to attach myself to this project and to have all my identity is wrapped up in this thing.

Pivoting in Ministry

The Lord was boing very gracious. It was like he was giving a quick win to show that maybe there is something in this.

I did that training, and I tried to put some stuff into practice, but it didn’t have anyone coaching me or mentoring me, so I basically just had my notes, and I was referring back to my notes.

Rookie DBS mistakes

If you think this person is a person of peace, we don’t want to pin all our hopes on the person of peace.

We need to have the discernment to say, What is the key thing that needs to be focused on right now?

We need to have a much clearer view of what is the church.

What is the Church

The local church is:

• 5 people more, some of whom are not in the same immediate family
• Most members have professed faith in Jesus Christ
• Members are in solidarity with one another by meeting regularly
• Meetings include worship, teaching in the Word of God, and sacraments
• Appointed indigenous leaders

How does a Bible study get to a church?

The importance of this is that it’s not this secretive thing with one nuclear family. It needs to be more than that because then it has the potential to multiply and grow.

Local leaders

Trying to find that healthy balance of Indigenous leadership, you want them to lead in a way that fits their culture. But then, at the same time, they recognize that there are elements of their culture that are probably not in harmony with the Kingdom of God.

Number one characteristic is teachability and that’s connected to humility. And then a clear sense of obedience, not to me, but to the Lord.

• 00:00 Intro
• 01:00 From militia to missionary
• 10:14 Moving to the Middle East
• 12:38 Should you send yourself to the field?
• 15:00 What makes a great leader?
• 17:19 Characteristics of a good leader
• 23:00 Measuring your own usefulness
• 27:47 Coping mechanisms on the field
• 34:31 Slowing down to avoid burnout
• 39:45 Thinking through some team stuff
• 43:00 Conflict resolution within teams
• 49:04 Building resilience against failure

I was already tithing 10%, so my goal after that trip was to increase my giving by 2% every year over the next five years. That way, in future years, I would be giving 10% to the church and 10% to missions overseas.

I said We need to raise up a Christian militia. I need to get my good old boys to go with me halfway around the world to help little brown people kill other little brown people.

God, your plan is not my plan. You’re not on board with me. At that point, the spirit said, “Finally, you’re getting it.” So I said, “God, change my heart to be like your heart.”

I thought we didn’t need to send military personnel; we needed to send missionaries. And that’s when God said, “Now your hearts like my heart.”

Multicultural teams will spend more time in storming than monocultural teams. But once the multicultural team makes it into norming, they will outperform the monocultural team.

Remain teachable and have emotional intelligence. Be willing to talk about the hard things in a soft way.

Leaders should always start with compassion, grace, and mercy. How can I see where they’re hurting or where they’re upset?

We had to deconstruct his insecurities about pleasing man and not God. Some of that you can do intellectually, but some of that you have to do on a heart level.

People don’t realize that Living on the field takes more energy out of you, and then you feel like, ‘Why am I so tired? Why is this so hard?”

I’ve tried to help the people I’ve led reduce their expectations.

I think people underestimate that when their coping mechanisms stop working, their identity issues start coming up. Who am I? Am I worthy?

Letting go of the false identities that you’ve taken on yourself or that the world has given you, releasing that, and being able to hear what God has to say about you. And then once you know those choosing to live them out.

I talked to my supervisor, and I said I think I’m struggling with depression.

There are a lot of similarities between depression and grief, but you treat grief very differently than you treat depression.

You have to start with asking yourself. What is the purpose of the team?

What’s a team gets to eight or nine team members, the team leader can get pretty bogged down with dealing with team leading issues.

Almost half the people who go to the field to serve long-term, don’t make it to five years.

Being willing to have hard conversations earlier rather than later. If somethings bothering you be gentle and diplomatic, and how you bring it up, but don’t let it build and build and build. Don’t let us splinter into your finger and then turn into this huge infection and then it gets so bad. You have to cut your finger off.

You can create more conflict by trying to resolve it if you don’t have cultural intelligence.

When we think about failure, we have to ask the question what does God think of what you did? Is it a failure or is it the enemy trying to make you believe a lie?